I AM ENOUGH (and so are you)

MY RECENT EXPERIENCE WITH ENOUGHNESS

In a beautiful breathwork workshop I attended this past weekend with Bree Melanson, among other things, we dug into some of our beliefs. Beliefs that we hold on so tightly to that they impact every scenario in our lives. They impact our current reality.

While I’ve done this exercise before, this one was especially profound. It became blatantly clear that a strong belief I hold onto, thanks to both my ego and interpretation of past experiences, is that I AM NOT ENOUGH.

I have a desire to be a successful entrepreneur and healer but my ego tells me and tries to find ways to validate that:

I’m not good enough
… skinny enough
… pretty enough
… smart enough
… talented enough
... likeable enough
… spiritual enough
… knowledgable enough
….enough…enough

For decades my ego has reminded me of where it thinks I belong, my comfort zone because I’m not _____(fill in the blank)___ enough to have anything else.

It has also done a great job of putting me in situations where I have validated its idea of not-enoughness. All so my ego can say, ’See I told you so’. And I don’t blame it, we all get some satisfaction from being right.

As the exercise continued we were asked to finish this statement…If I had a soul (I do), how would my soul see this? What would it tell me?

The words that etched onto my paper were these:

You are loved, more loved than you will ever know.

This is all here to expand you and brighten your light.

YOU ARE ENOUGH.

YOU HAVE ALWAYS BEEN ENOUGH.

Just as you are.

Inhale // Exhale

I laid my pen down and immediately started crying ( and this is all before the breathwork session even started…oh boy I was in for a ride!). I start thinking about why I was crying, what the emotion behind this was.

Here’s what I came up with.

I knew in the depths of my soul that this is right. I am 100% enough and always have been. I’ve always known.
I felt sad that my ego who would have me believe anything different.
I thought of all the situations in my life where I led from a place of not-enoughness. Where I allowed myself to lead from ego who, though it was only trying to protect me, help me back and dimmed my light.
And I felt sad that I have allowed anyone into my life that would make me feel anything less than enough. (I know at my core these people are lessons, but I let myself have this moment).

WHY I’M WRITING THIS

You see, I’m not writing this post to place blame on anyone or thing. My intention is to actually hold a space of love and compassion for my ego. I believe our ego takes on the job of trying its best to keep us ‘safe’. If collects moments from this and past lifetimes that it can use to evaluate new, growth situations and make a judgment as to the level of risk or safety involved. Sometimes it is right, but more often than it, it is wrong.

I can confidently say that this belief of not-enoughness isn’t serving me anymore and I can guarantee doesn’t serve you either. I also believe every last one of us experiences this familiar feeling of not being enough, of seeking validation and, at its core love, from something or someone external to us. Which is precisely what the ego wants. To be proven right.

SO, WHERE DOES OUR BELIEF OF NOT BEING ENOUGH COME FROM?

I think it's a collection of moments in our lives. Things said or unsaid by others, even in jest, that make love and approval seem like a transaction. For example, If you act this way, you will be rewarded or shown love and adoration. I think it grows and feeds off of relationships marked with imbalance, where we give away our power and worth for the promise of love, trust, and commitment from the other. Just to name a few ways.

It shows up as overachieving, comparison, procrastination, avoidance, not finishing what we started, fear, obstacles, challenges, self-sabotage, overwhelm, and on and on. The fear of not being enough is a bottom feeder and the ego will work hard to get what it wants. It preys on our dreams, ambitions, relationships, health, and happiness.

WHAT IF WE LOOKED AT BEING ENOUGH DIFFERENTLY?

What would happen if we started looking at our enough-ness differently? Remove anyone else other than yourself from the evaluation panel? Stop using metrics to measure how enough you are?

What would happen if we looked at being enough not as a destination or measure of achievement but just a part of who we are? What if we all start to realize we are inherently valuable and loveable just as we are…right….now….period. What if we make this belief of our own sense of value a non-negotiable baseline?

IT’S TIME TO THANK THESE BELIEFS AND LET THEM GO

I’m sure at one point in my life or another this belief of not being ___(whatever)___ enough has saved me from the anguish, embarrassment, or hurt that I was afraid of. It served its purpose, it did its job.

And, for that I am grateful. It has kept me safe, padded, protected. But I also see that these beliefs don’t actually belong to me and it’s time for me to release them, to set them free.

You see, I am enough, just as I am right now. I’ve always been enough. My mess, my imperfection, my flaw. All are what make me enough. And the same goes for you. You are enough where you are, as you are, at any moment.

Inhale // Exhale